Great is your Faithfulness.

It’s hard to process your expectations and reality when they just don’t line up. When your eyes are red from crying and you are tired of being the ‘strong’ one, but I know God’s not done yet. I am going to cling to what I know to be true. My GOD is a WAYMAKER and will fight for me I just need to be still. Even if I don’t feel it GOD is WORKING he never stops working. Thank you for constantly lifting us up in prayer, its comforting to know that when I am too weary to pray there are people praying on our behalf. Every text and phone call is meaningful.

During this last month of nonstop doctor visits, we would sit in the doctors office and I would scan the room for an open chair for Jesus. I knew we weren’t walking the journey alone and I knew Jesus was in each and every appointment with us. I wanted an open chair as a visual reminder to myself of his presence but also for Jesus to sit down just incase he got tired of standing. The operating room was no different, Jesus was guiding the hands and minds of each surgeon present. They were able to remove 95% of the tumor, accomplishing all three of their original goals, AND miraculously saving a portion of the pituitary stalk! There still is no guarantee that his pituitary gland will function, but the door is cracked. Removing the majority of the tumor was the last goal, and preserving the pituitary stalk was slim, both were accomplished. WAYMAKER.

Upon coming out of the eight hour surgery, they removed his breathing tube and we were notified that we would be allowed to see him shortly. Time kept ticking by and there we sat. The neurosurgeon came back to the waiting room to inform us that he was laboring to breathing and they couldn’t get it under control. They intervened so it wouldn’t tire his body out. He was sedate in order to put his breathing tube back in. They went on to tell us there could be many possible reasons for labored breathing and difficulty waking up, but we would just have to wait and see. Time seemed to stand still. It was a long night of waiting and fighting to see him. Our doctor went above and beyond for us giving me his personal cell phone number and clearing me to spend the night right by his bed begging God to wake him up.

Wednesday morning October 27th, the MRI and CAT scan both came back clear of any possible stroke and/or hemorrhaging in the brain. Those results allowed the doctors to safely assume the slow waking up process and the labored breathing is from a manipulation of the brain that controls ‘restfulness’ during the removal of the tumor. The doctor proceeded to tell me that he also had trouble sleeping that night given Brock’s medical state. By Wednesday afternoon, Brock was alert enough to have his breathing tube removed. Praise Jesus. As the day progressed and evening came, he would have short spurts of awake time. I was able to make eye contact with him looking right in my eyes he said “you’re beautiful” and in that moment the world stood still. He saw me.

This morning (Thursday, October 28) he was able to sit up in a chair and the physical therapist even helped him walk around the hall. They did a simple vision test and there was some improvement in his peripheral vision. He is more awake, but still very disoriented. He knows who he is, recognizes me and can say the kids names, but he doesn’t know much else. He can’t remember where he is or why, and is very repetitive. The neurosurgeon came back in this morning to check on Brock and we chatted about how disoriented he is. He believes it stems from where the tumor was located and the different parts of the brain it was pushing on. The MRI showed no damage to the brain indicating this should hopefully be a short term issue. The surgeon went on to say that this was/is a rare tumor but he recently preformed three surgeries on this type. He told us that Brock’s was by far the most complicated and concerning for three reasons the size, where it was pushing, and that it was mostly solid. The previous three surgeries were smaller and fluid filled making them ‘easier’ to remove. It could take days to weeks for Brock to fully regain his memory and orientation.

Now what? Time. It will be baby steps towards progress. From yesterday morning (October 27th) when he was barely opening his eyes and had a breathing tube down his throat, to this morning (October 28) where he was able to sit in a chair, was a big step. Forward progress is the main goal. They are hoping to move him out of the ICU in the next 24 hours pending he keeps taking these small forward steps. His hormones are being monitored around the clock and are currently stable with medication. They are saying it will be closer to a week in the hospital, unlike the four days we were hoping for.

Wondering how to pray? Full recovery and healing of Brock’s brain and mind. For myself, I never expected the disorientation and confusion. I figured he would be drowsy, but the loss of memory is hard to watch. Pray that I can find strength to keep finding my inner David and to be his cheerleader. In my weakness may God still be glorified and may I just be still in the waiting. Peace will be my weapon of choice. Prayers for the kids, that this wouldn’t bring any worry or fear, but instead it would be a stepping stone for their faith to grow deeper.

I want to conclude by saying THANKS AGAIN! We are continually humbled by your support, love, and prayers. My gracious Mother in law (Yvonne) has set up a meal train, for those of you asking, I will attach the link. https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/702gr8