Dead-End or New Beginning?

When making the decision to start the blog, Brock and I decided we wanted to keep the ‘99’ informed and up to date, but in the same breath our desire is to reach the ‘1’. Jesus cares about the 1. In Matthew 18, he talks about leaving the 99 safe sheep to look for the lost 1, then rejoicing when the 1 is found. Our hearts felt the same. We love the support shown to us, it’s humbling, but more then that we care about how we can use our messy hearts and story to reach someone, somewhere.

We didn’t always have a peace and assurance. Before receiving the phone call about the tumor we were feeling defeated and drained. Brock was exhausted in every from of the word, depression is a thief, and I was weary from holding the family up. After multiple doctor’s visits and counseling sessions, Brock and I were both feeling as though we had hit a dead end for separate reasons. I was tired of pushing and he was loosing hope. No breakthrough, no answers, we were stumbling.

While we sat together at yet another counseling session, our counselor questioned Brock as to why he had given up. Our counselor told him that he needed to get angry and fight back. Feeling tired and drained, Brock was speechless. Satan had Brock right where he wanted him. The storm was all he saw and it was overpowering, he had to make a choice right then what voice he was going to listen too. Trust his feelings that are ever changing like the wind or stand on God’s promises. It’s not an easy decision, our minds are powerful, and they have the ability to root us in faith or shrink us in fear. Little did we know that after he made the choice to fight for his health and family, a few weeks later he would get the call that he has a brain tumor.

Why is this backstory important? Because we were at breaking point, tired, defeated, and collapsing. I believe a lot of you can relate to that. It’s what we do at these breaking points that matter. What or who will have the final say? It’s hard to fight when lying down is all you have energy for; it’s harder to stand firm when the storm is relentless. How do we NOT crumble? I believe crumbling is okay, but it’s how we get back up that matters. Do we stay down or do we get angry and fight back? We need to stake a claim to regain what the enemy has tried to destroy, name the Goliath and prepare for war. Do you only see the storm or do you believe the sea will part? It is not easy; it’s a DAILY surrendering. It’s one step in front of the other and standing firm until you see your Goliath fall. I have felt a peace that passes all understanding. I have been given eyes to look beyond the storm, and a confidence that more is being done then just a tumor being removed. The dead-end is just a roadblock to a new beginning.

Someone needs to hear these truths today; you are loved ENDLESSLY, made WONDERFULLY, and created SPECIFICALLY. The world needs YOU and your light, the way is already made, you just need to take God’s hand and step off the boat. Walk on water and see your giants fall.

Pick one and begin taking a step:

1) Cultivate a quiet time, read your bible and lay your heart out before the Lord. He wants to hear your messy heart, there is a whole book in the bible on lamenting, LAMENTations. He SEES you and is not ashamed to call you his.

2) Write down Gods promises on sticky notes and post them all around your house, my bathroom mirror is covered. My favorite is Psalms 40:1-3.

3) Reach out to someone you trust, people want to help, the enemy wants us isolated and alone, but God created us for community. Brock has a close group of people he will send a text to on his hard days that will support him by lifting him up in prayer. It can be hard to open up, but let the sun shine into those dark corners; shame is not your name.

I realize my next post wasn’t going to be until post-surgery, but I find writing to be therapeutic and it was laid on my heart to start typing. Somebody reading this needs to remember who they are, and start believing God made a way. If you are in need of a visible reminder, I have linked the shirts someone so generously created for us during this season. He is a WAYMAKER. I will be wearing mine on surgery day, as a visible reminder to myself to rest in the truth of who my God is.

https://www.mustardseedonmain.com/apparel/waymaker-preorder-tee